See Charlene tomorrow

 

 

 

Yeah

Unemployed and bored.

Photo: Inma Varandela

See. There is one thing I do not get about people. Those who sits on their ass day in and day out, and  do not do shit. The healthy people, fully capable of working. Weather it is right or wrong (!!) is not the point. I just do not understand how they do it.

I hate being unemployed. I have been on holidays for about a month +2 weeks of unemployment. I hate it. I hate it. It bores me. I am so bored.

The money is annoying but the worst part is really to just not have anything really to wake up to. Accept same old same old.

(My boyfriend loves it. Sleeping too long. Staying up late to watch the soccer live from Europe. And yes, I do wanna kick him in the ass every morning.)

I know there is a lot of complaining done about getting up in the morning, working weekends… But at least you have something to take pride in. Having a job. Making your own money. Saving that money for something special.

And no, I never enjoyed having a totally single mum. It is constantly a struggle and as soon as everything goes plus it goes minus the next day. Money is never exciting when you have single parents. But at least I learned that money is important. Not for happiness but for having a functional life. And I learned that things work out somehow.

So the frustration about being unemployed in this recession is not about the money. It is about being stuck at home and just waiting. To give and give and write cover letter after cover letter and never get a bloody phone call. That is what bugs me.

Sunny Sunday

This is one of those good Sundays. I stayed in bed way too long and then got up and had a lovely breakfast. I did some washing. And now I am sitting here in my pink trackies and I don’t really have anything planned for the day accept cooking dinner later tonight.

I could stress about that I still have not even had a job interview. It does shit me. But I can not do more than try anyway. I am trying to figure out the things I can. It is Sunday and I am gonna enjoy it.

Bren and I have now started looking at houses. Went to a few viewings yesterday. We are not in a rush. We can not rush, we do not have the finances sorted out yet. But it is good to get an idea of what we like and what is on the market. I am just really looking forward to decorating…

Sheeit.

Fock. Is this really the content of the course I am considering taking?

Produce Texts from Notes 30   Design and Develop Text Documents 120   Create and Use Databases 20   Create Electronic Presentations 20   Organise Schedules 15   Create And Use Simple Spreadsheets 20   Organise Workplace Information 30   Maintain Business Resources 20   Maintain Financial Records 60   Maintain Workplace Safety 40   Write Simple Documents 30 Use Technology In The Workplace 50

When it all comes around… I hate organising my own life. I hate Excel. And I do dislike working within retail too. But still. Is it really worth spending 6 months doing something I really do not give a shit about?

Tuesday morning

Wow. It is still not 10:00 and I have managed to have breakfast (cinnamon scrolls.. hrm..) and I have applied for all new available retail assistant positions found on Seek.com.au. Oh man, I am good. 

And freezing. Looks like a lovely day outside though so should very shortly jump into the shower and get ready for a day of resume dropping. Great fun. Might wait till tomorrow when I am going into the city…

I really should get my arse into gear.  Resume dropping just happens to not encourage me.

killed yeast

I have been baking cinnamon buns this morning. I reckon I killed the yeast. Been there, done that. Home economics. Was not really my thing. In a matter of fact, it seams like I will be stock in the kitchen the whole day. I am gonna clean out the fridge too. Bren will clean the windows.

Wow. I love Mondays.

Silence

Enough is not enough

OK. I watched this debate on Swedish chanel 4. Are the kids from 80’s lazy or is it the recessions fault that we can’t get any job? Well. We are all lazy aren’t we? A bit. Sometimes. We do take things from granted. BUT. We know what preassure is. We have grown up thinking good is not good enough. You gotta be the best. It is not OK to be mediocre. It does not bring you fame. It does not give you a boyfriend. And it will not give you a job.

Yesterday I applied for a position which I think I would have been perfectly suitable for. I showed confidence in my cover letter. I showed a passion for the business. I could probably go back and correct a few things but overall I was content and I actually thought I would have a chance to at least get an interview. I am not in any way saying that there could not be anyone else not suitable for the job. But I gotta say it bruised my ego when I got one of those e-mails back. Thank you but no thanks.

The worst part about being unemployed is not the money. It works out somehow. The worst part is when you over and over have to prove yourself and get No after No back. You start to doubt yourself and capability. Being one of those girls who somehow always managed to do things right in school and who would not have to put half the effort into what I was doing… But did. And crashed and burned. It is hard when it feels like you are doing all you can. And you do know you are not stupid. You are capable. But that is not enough.

The recession is not hitting the economy the hardest. It sure is hitting the kids in schools who will not be getting that extra help they need because of cut downs. It is slapping single parents and old people in their faces. And it is whispering destructive words  in young peoples ears.

I see. Blurry.

Friday morning. Pete Doherty. Non-functional old contact lenses I found back in Sweden in my even older chest… I thought it was a good idea to try to use them since I can not really afford buying any new contacts… Will do some more job search today… Maybe sign up for that Tai Chi thingo in the Swedish church the 6th of June… Thinking about baking some cinnamon buns too. And I smell like a man. My deoderant is left in the car so I thought I’d steal Brens. Lynx. Alcohol levels so high my arm pits are now burning. On the other hand guys… well.. most guys don’t shave their arm pits do they?

It is Valborg back in Sweden today. Everyone getting on the piss. And it seams like the weather is brilliant back home. Lucky you Inga and Sven.

OK. Time to apply for more jobs. YAAAWWWN.

Kungsportsplatsen, Gothenburg, March -08

Back in Oz. And it is freezing cold. Yes my fellow svennar, there’s snow on the mountain tops of Victoria. A bit depressing really.

 All you single people back home who can feel the spring romance in the air… All you Gothenburg brats who can finally show off that bare chest of yours… All you girls who thinks it is warm enough to put on your new summer dress and BBQ in Tylosand… I am so jealous.

Yes. I am back in Oz. Back to unemployment hell. It is hard to cheer up when you do not at the moment have something to really look forward to. All I can think of is the bloody visa. I am just thinking way too much.

Write resume. Listen to Thastrom. Apply for the trainee position at Gloria Jeans up the road. Get my nails done. Talk to Charlene. Today.